This past Sunday was fast and testimony Sunday. Usually I sit quietly in my seat watching everyone Else's testimony grow, too scared to go up myself; full of doubts on what to say. Then I sit there while my chest is pounding trying to plan it out, knowing I'm going to forget everything I prepared as soon as I get to the pulpit. So rather than making a fool of myself, I just sit instead and let my testimony stay lit from the stronger ones around me. The previous fast Sunday I did just that and let everyone else go ahead, even though I felt the need to get up. There were a lot of people that day so there wasn't much time anyway. Determined to make sure I feel that feeling again, I made myself get up and start walking this Sunday. It was an awesome feeling having my body propelled up out of my chair and walking by my starving spirit. This was the first time since Tim and I have been married that I bore my testimony in sacrament meeting, excluding talks. Pretty sad I know. I was shaking and a mess when I got back to my seat but I had smiling faces greeting me back. To make things even better, My sister Melanie works most Sundays but had this past Sunday off. She too has been married 5 years and hasn't shared her testimony since she has been married. She was holding Brody and she stood up, I thought maybe to walk with him but she kept walking, not out the door but to the front! Her husband and I just looked at each other in awe followed by tears. Her words were so sweet. It was a great day.
I have lately been trying to listen to any inkling or whisper; Big or small, weather I understand it or not just to make sure they don't stop coming. I want to try to bare my testimony every fast Sunday for a year. If I don't have a burning pounding feeling, then I should sprint to the pulpit.
